Thursday, November 30, 2006


What a day! It was a time of working quite actively with accepting, embracing and cooperating with the present moment. That is because absolutely nothing in my day was as I expected it, except the weather, which remained glorious for just one more day. We can see the first arctic front moving this way! But today was in the 70s and felt like spring.

Jim went, after our Morning Offering, to fulfill a busy morning of chores for various customers. Increasingly this week he has been helping people get ready for the holidays, hanging wreaths in windows and so forth.

I came upstairs to write my article for UPI and was quite unable to do so. Instead I practiced laps along the hallway to the bathroom. Mid-morning I got a call from the U of L Digestive Health Center. They wanted to schedule me for the colonoscopy which I had been quite unable to arrange on my own. Dr. Aboud’s insistence had moved them along and I expected them to schedule me for the hospital procedure sometime in December, but Dr. Aboud must have gotten persuasive indeed, for I am set to have the procedure done tomorrow.

I did what chores I could today. They were few indeed. I went to Labcorp in Middletown, just a mile away, to give blood for my monthly labs for Dr. June, thinking how odd it is to get this lab test done when tomorrow; the hospital will undoubtedly do the same testing all over again.

I took Stanley Outback for his pre-trip check-up, which he successfully passed. That feels very good! We’ll be driving almost 2,000 miles this next week or so. It is good to have the car all set to go.

When I found myself unable to gather the sang-froid needed to think creatively, I dropped back and punted with editing the Sunday channeling session we had on November 12th. The session seemed very good indeed. I credit Monica L’s questions for eliciting excellent material. She had written them from the heart, and I had tweaked them to include requests for spiritual principles which applied to her concerns. I sent the finished rough edit to Ian so he can get the session on line, and also to Monica.

I have incredibly kind associates. When I wrote Larry M, my editor at UPI, he told me by all means, remove all concern for writing this week and get through this colonoscopy. I can write for UPI after that! At first I hoped against hope that I would be able to collect myself enough to write the article I had in mind, but by late afternoon, I knew that my time had run out, and so wrote to let him know I would write for him next week.

Pam the bookkeeper was here today, after only three weeks moving through the books very quickly. I am so grateful we found her. She expresses the same feeling towards us. She has three children either in college or getting ready to go, and is glad to have the source of income. We talked a bit about upcoming changes she would like to make in the office. She likes laser checks, which QuickBooks can write from within its software when it is set up to do so. She would like to retire the paper registers completely. I gave her the go-ahead on that after she explained that if I needed to take a check with me, I could do that too. She also wants to revise our filing system so that it makes sense. I OK’d both changes and we talked about ways and means to do those things.

My last act of the work day was to let Lisa, St. Luke’s choirmistress, know that I would not be attending choir practice. I knew that I had some serious drinking to do, a true binge! So I devoted the evening to that.

The colonoscopy prep procedure was a new one to me. The protocol was to drink glass after glass of Gatorade – the brand is specified in the instructions, as well as the flavor – “clear” – along with some 32 Osmoprep tablets, plus a laxative. Throughout the evening I polished off 64 ounces of the Gatorade. In due time, of course, the pills worked and by bedtime I was dashing for the bathroom even more frequently than usual. I cannot say that I ever went to bed, actually, for the theme of the entire night was FFFFFFFLUSH! I am clean as a whistle!

It struck me how ironic it is that in order to investigate a condition which has me going to the bathroom overmuch, the preparation involves causing me to double and triple that distortion. I was extremely glad to know that most of my work for getting ready for this test is now done.

On our first day with the announcement about the matching funds offer up on site, we received a total of $1320.00! It is a wonderful start to this campaign. I have every hope that we will, indeed, raise the funds needed to keep me writing for the next six months!

Romi, who had meant to come over yesterday evening but who had a cold and decided to stay home, came for his visit this evening, feeling much better after a day of rest. He had the beginnings of a cold, but believes he has nipped it in the bud. He got me all set up to go to Nebraska with my laptop, Traveller. It is now programmed for the dial-up connection which is all that Mom McCarty has available. And I can take my small printer with me. He gave me the protocol sheet for unhooking it here and hooking it back up in Nebraska.

This is the first time I have taken my work with me to visit Mom. Usually I treat this time as vacation. And I know I will enjoy a relaxed schedule there, with lots of sleeping, reading and spider solitaire, my favorite diversion on the computer and a Godsend when I am ill and unable to focus. The simple gaming moves lull my worried mind and enable me to regain a wider perspective which finds that faith, thanksgiving and joy that tends to flee the human personality when it is faced with distress that cannot be controlled.

However, with A Book of Days in its final stages of production and with Jean-Claude’s latest venture on the drawing board, with me included in the planning of the web site he has in mind, I want to be very responsive right now. So many wonderful things are happening!

As well, I will work in Nebraska on finishing my altered outline for all three Choice books, and on finding all the references and quotations I wish to use as I write The Choice 101. I am also carrying with me the Christmas cards to finish, a scrapbook to make of my MacDuffie reunion experience and several snail-mail letters I would like to answer. I shall have work aplenty there. So I will continue making journal entries throughout the visit, given that I can figure out the mechanics of doing so on the computer– always a question with me!

I greatly look forward to the trip, regardless of my condition. It will mean time with Mick – extended time, which we both love. I love being on the road with him. With “Depends” to help me deal with the inevitable difficulties I am having at present and some baby wipes for cleanliness en route, I think I will be just fine.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006


Our lovely spell of warm weather continued today, cheering us with sunlight and falling willow and honeysuckle leaves. Those two species are the last kinds of leaves to fall around here when the frost begins to bite. In a week or so, all the leaves will be down except for a few stubborn oak trees and the very tops of the tulip poplars, which tend to wear a crown of yellow for the early part of the winter.

After Morning Offering Jim set out to do a variety of chores for his customers, a very full day. I tackled details. First, I wrote Jean-Claude, both about the offer to match funds for donations until the end of the year, and then about his web site idea. Overnight, Ian had placed the announcement of this offer on the web site, front and center. Amazingly enough, we received our first donation already! It is a good omen, for it is a $1200 donation. That is a great start on the $5,000 for which they will match donations.

Jean-Claude talked about being an emissary from the great central sun. I remembered that the Ra had mentioned the central sun in talking about the nature of unity, so I hunted up the quotation and sent that to him with some thoughts on the subject. I think it expresses, far more elegantly, the refrain of the Blues Brothers: we are all on a mission from God.

Jean-Claude had asked me to contact Sandie Sedgbeer, whom he also wants involved in the web site planning, so I wrote her. We have not been in contact for a while, although we have twice tried to make a lunch date. My illness and her personal duties have kept us from succeeding. I hope we may do so soon, as Sandie is the best company and a good girlfriend, full of insight, support, encouragement and giggles. Bless giggles! They help me out a lot.

I spent some time with Ian’s needs for the Book of Days. He had some final text questions, all of which proved to me that it is always a very good idea to have one’s editing checked by a second pair of eyes. We talked about the cover image some more. The darkness of the background of our image concerns him, as he feels it may muddy and blur under the Xerox-type production of Print On Demand (POD)-type publishing. I forwarded to him the artist’s assurance that she would be glad to work with us until we had a good image.

And I passed on to Gary Ian’s request that we get the price quote from and all the details of their offer ASAP. We want to compare that with a Canadian POD company, Blitzprint. It is incredible, but at this point, with my Preface written and many details decided, we are very close to printing A Book of Days! At last! I am so excited!

It was lunch time, and Jim arrived home to share it with me – an increasingly common treat these days, as his busy season winds down. He noted that he now has finished work for all of his customers outside our little village of Anchorage. There is no more need for him to travel for work this winter – great news and one of our personal landmarks in the year’s rhythms of work.

We stretched before he left to cut, clean and mulch one of his customers’ homes, which is being shown in a garden tour-type fund-raiser for a local charity this coming weekend. He came home in time to finish the Christmas lighting here at Camelot. We now have the entire roof detailed with lights, plus the front windows and porch. He even outlined our chimney. It is a pretty sight. Because of our house’s situation, you can see the cheery lights twinkling along our back roofline from far down the roadway coming up to our little street

I was intent on clearing all the bits and details on my computer table and desk before leaving for Nebraska. I spent some time answering Terry H’s questions – again – and this time the tape recorder worked; a blessing indeed.

Rick C needed some information from me before he could go further with remastering our recordings before changing over from audiocassette tapes to CDs. He has done a wonderful job with the two music recordings which he has tackled so far.

I scooted over to St. Luke’s to give the office all the remaining money I had collected for our choir CDs of our concert in Washington DC last May at the National Cathedral. I took time to admire Jim’s handiwork there. The church never looked better!

Rick C’s wife, Diane, had some advice for me on healing interstitial cystitis, as did Joan M, and I thanked them both.

Dianne S sent me an insightful article on Donald Rumsfeld by Amy Goodman, whose work I greatly admire, and I thanked her for that.

And I worked with a couple of Admin Gary’s notes to finish my run through details, details. While Chloe pulled down an entire row of books from our archive shelves and then went across the office and pulled down two stacking file baskets and their contents – Chloe gets jealous when I work at the desk and do not pat her – I sat down at said desk and cleared away a good stack of items, reserving the snail mail, now, for Nebraska and filing away or taking care of the rest.

Late in the afternoon, Dr. Aboud called with instructions to call the Digestive Health Center and schedule another colonoscopy. She is responding to the lab tests showing that I have become quite anemic in the last month. I have certainly had enough discomfort and other symptoms to know that this is a correct diagnosis, but I have no idea why I should be anemic, unless my body has decided to stop absorbing nutrients, which it has done previously on occasion, not to my benefit! I got hold of the Digestive Health Center and they promised to call me back with an actual appointment for the week after I return from Nebraska. I shall have that to look forward to, indeed!

After a good whirlpool, Jim, Gary and I enjoyed a quiet evening. Gary and I read most of the night while Jim worked on his e-mail and book orders, doing his own version of catching up details before leaving town. Gary offered the ending prayer at the Gaia Meditation and we said good night around 11 PM.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Another spectacular Indian Summer day greeted me as I got the paper this morning. After Morning Offering, Jim went off for a very full day of putting various customers’ lawns to bed and putting down mulch in a large estate’s front and back yards. I came upstairs to work more on the Preface for The Book of Days. I got that finalized as a rough draft and sent it off to Ian, who is producing this volume for L/L Research.

Jean-Claude called with two items of news, one here-and-now and one a new initiative for service. The practical detail was an offer from him and Bill H to match any funds donated to us between now and the end of the year, up to $5,000.00. it is a most generous offer and one of which I hope we can take good advantage, as our costs are quite high, compared to those years when I did all the admin work, all the bookkeeping and everything whatsoever to do with L/L Research myself. We have grown in projects and numbers of people writing to us and so forth, and at this point, if I attend to the Inbox and do the bookkeeping, I never, ever, get to a creative project. So that matching funds drive will net us six months’ worth of money to pay the admin and bookkeeper.

Things cost more money now – we all experience this! And not just staffing costs. Oh my! The cost of printing books and keeping them in print; the cost of mailing; web site costs; the substantial cost of our new broadcasting project – so many costs which any business bears – all those costs have increased.

We need to find a way to create a stable donation stream. I keep writing books, but they do not make enough money to float L/L’s expenses. I am sure that this matter of supply will resolve itself, and I just hope to help the process along. Perhaps I will find a volunteer who would like to set up the machinery for accepting yearly pledges. So many non-profits do operate from a pledge base. And I know we have many people who feel that our work is worth supporting.

Also, there is grant money out there. Carol C. has just volunteered to look into possibilities for grant-writing for L/L. that is a good initiative to pursue.

By nightfall, Ian had put up the announcement on our home page of this matching grant offer. Here’s hoping!

Jean-Claude had talked for quite a while about his new project and asked me to get in touch with Sandie Sedgbeer, who edits two excellent e-zines, Planet Light Worker and Children of the New Earth, as he would like to talk with her also about this new initiative he’s cooking up, out there in California’s high desert. He would like to include both of us in the formation of a large web site which is intended to act as a great big virtual home for seekers. It’s a concept of epic proportions and very positive and pure in intent. I am very glad to be a part of it. I wrote Sandie at some length to fill her in.

The remainder of the afternoon, I spent catching up personal e-mail and clearing my desk, which had begun to stack up. I saved most personal letters to answer in Nebraska and got the desk clear just as Jim called bath time.

Jim and Gary had done a special project at St. Luke’s for Jim’s Lawn Service. The gutters there needed cleaning, and on the back side of the church, Jim’s 24’ ladder would not reach. A parishioner volunteered a 32’ ladder. Jim and Gary went and collected it and then wielded it to get those gutters clear. Jim said there was no way he could have handled it on his own! Go Gary!

Jim came back and got his maintenance done with still some light left, so went back up on our roof and finished most of the remaining Christmas lighting. Now the front and the back of the house have their architectural roof lines illuminated. It is really pretty, and I get a special treat, too! In the office up here, and at the end of the upstairs hall, Jim has pulled the ends of the lighting in to the house to plug them in. so I have Christmas lights in my office, spilling their pretty beams across the floor. It is a lovely effect. It feels so Christmassy! And I do love this season of special times, family gatherings and remembrance of the source of true light, that unconditional love that is surrounded by darkness, yet which cannot be overcome.

After our bath, Jim and I spent a very quiet evening, offering the Gaia Meditation with me praying at the end and seeking our beds around 11 PM.

Monday, November 27, 2006


A spectacular shirtsleeve day kept a lot of people away from church today – I believe there may have been more people in the chancel, where the choir, clergy, lay chalice bearers and acolytes sit, than in the congregation! I imagine many were called to enjoy outdoor activities in order to take advantage of the rare beauty of the glorious, sunlit day. The weather will break soon, and winter shall be with us, so it was a carpe diem kinda day for a lot of the congregation’s golfers and backyard grillers.

Jim had asked me to pick up fast food for lunch after the church service, but I could not recall what he selected and so called home to find out but there was no answer. The church being only three minutes or so from home, I drove home to find Jim up on the roof! He had decided to put up Christmas lights today, since In this dry, warm weather he could easily walk around on the roof in the back and carefully perch on a piece of foam while he worked on the steeply pitched front part of the roof. What a delightful surprise! Camelot is a sweetly made bungalow and when the roof details are outlined with lights, the illuminated architectural lines make a pretty Christmas picture.

I collected the burritos supreme for which Jim had asked and we enjoyed lunch and stretching together before he went back to the outdoor lighting project. Romi came over while we were finishing lunch in order to work on computer maintenance for us and Carmen arrived just after he did in order to continue her project of typing my poetry into the computer. That’s a big job, as I have had a poetic streak since childhood and from time to time, a poem or song will just form itself and demand to be written down. I keep all my creations, so by now the file is large!

It will be so good to have that body of work ready for me to edit and get up on line. I do not believe I am a good poet, in terms of the kind of literary value that makes verse into true poetry. However when seekers are working to advance their spiritual process, you never know what little thought or phrase will help. Since most of my poetry is metaphysical, I hope to share it on line one day in case it might be of help.

I was grateful to have a day to rest, as I continue to feel very much under the weather. In addition to all the other symptoms, I seem to have picked up a severe anemia which means that even walking up the stairs creates a raised pulse, panting and dizziness. Tomorrow I will contact my GP, Dr. Aboud, as the anemia needs to be corrected.

Gary spent some time teaching me how to use my new cel phone. It is more complex than my previous model, which became obsolete recently, so I had to replace it. So far I have learned how to make a call and how to receive one, and how to send a text message. That is the ABCs of it and most of what I will ever need, but since this phone has a ton of other features, we will explore them at a later teaching session or three. Gary showed me the camera feature and I was just delighted. And there are a host of other buttons and whirligigs to play with. It is too bad that for me this represents a learning curve instead of fun. However, I shall persevere. One day it will have become fun.

We five were joined by Tom F for our meditation, which was a silent one today. It was an excellent talk around the circle and I greatly enjoyed sharing the silence of our meditation with this circle of devoted seekers. After the meditation, Romi offered his “Love Tea” ceremony and we had a good conversation until suppertime. The Gaia Meditation, with Jim offering the prayer at the closing, signaled the end of our visitors’ stay, and Jim and I called his Mom before coming upstairs for a romantic snuggle and bedtime around midnight.

The kittens have nearly grown to adulthood now, at nine months old, but their kittenish behavior continues. Dan D’s latest chicanery is to take bites out of the soft toilet seat I have in the upstairs bathroom. It is beginning to come apart under his none too tender ministrations and I shall have to make a journey to the bed-and-bath section of some nearby shop to replace it and the soap dish which Chloe used to test the theory of gravity one day recently.

They have trained us well. We now have nothing on our coffee table, as they like to lie on it. We have taken up two rugs upon which they have been fond of depositing unfortunate substances. And their tendency to unroll entire rolls of toilet paper has us leaving the TP off the roll and secreted elsewhere. And now the toilet seat is disintegrating. Ah well! Their charms lie elsewhere!

Sunday, November 26, 2006


The spell of warm and sunny weather is lasting and we had another glorious day of Indian Summer while true winter bides its time. Kentucky does get its share of ice, sleet and snow – but this year, not yet! In honor of this fact, Jim let St. Luke’s know that unless he heard differently from them, he was going to go ahead on his own, rent a 32’ ladder and get the gutters on the steep side of the church cleaned while he still had the weather on his side.

After Morning Offering, Jim put in a morning in the kitchen. I worked on the Preface for A Book of Days, which is reaching final form in the next couple of weeks! I got it in fair shape, but shall go over it again before vetting it. it does not yet feel completely finished.

After we enjoyed lunch and our stretching exercises, Jim and I did the football/sleep routine all afternoon – he watched the many good games and I napped beside him, surfing on the crowd noise and the good feelings. Gary was working all afternoon on getting our rooms and furniture, which Jim has measured, drawn on to graph paper. Architect Gary Watrous has asked us to do that so that he can see exactly what we need to fit into our new house. It is a sound idea!

Gary offered the ending prayer for the Gaia Meditation after we enjoyed supper together. Jim and I sought our beds at midnight.

Saturday, November 25, 2006


The day was splendid – shirtsleeve weather and sparkling with sunshine. What a treat! After Morning Offering, Jim worked at three different jobs, which took until early afternoon.

I spent that time working up a new outline for The Choice 101. I was fairly pleased with the way it feels. I think this new arrangement is definitely the way to go, as the first book, 101, will be the bullet. 102 will be about outer work – the world of politics and economics “out there”, relationships, marriage, jobs, sexuality and children. And 103 will be about inner work – meditation, prayer, journaling, dream work and so forth.

I barely got started today on retrieving the quotes from my database that apply to the topics in their new order. I shall be able to find them fairly well, once I locate where they lie in the old system of outlines, by doing searches by code number. Doing the initial finding may take some time! I shall probably be working on the re-organization of those quotes, and the re-ordering of the outlines for 102 and 103, for a few days to come.

Jim arrived back home as Romi came for an afternoon of working on maintenance for the L/L Research computers. We shared a pizza and indulged in football – Jim for the afternoon (and Nebraska won!) and me, off and on, while Romi worked with Growler (the financials computer) and Maggie (Gary’s admin computer) in the downstairs office.

Romi and I did a “walk and roll” – he on foot and I in my little scooter – after lunch to enjoy the pretty day and then I rejoined St. James’s football games while he went on home. Mostly, I found myself fast asleep all the rest of the afternoon. It felt so good! I continue to have the same physical symptoms, including exhaustion, so this was much appreciated “down time”.

Before the bath I came upstairs to make an order to – a fun chore - to use the coupons we had received as rebates from our Amazon Visa charge card spending. As the coupons come in, I am adding to the L/L Library in the area of the Western tradition of white ritual magic, a topic the Ra group suggested was excellent for studying the archetypical mind. W. E. Butler made suggestions for further reading at the end of his wonderful book, Magic: Its Ritual, Power and Purpose, and we are perhaps halfway through that list. It’s amazing what Amazon has in the way of older books! I keep a “wish list” on to keep track of the books I am hoping to add to our Library – ever the librarian!

The rest of the day was pure relaxation. After supper and the Gaia Meditation, with me offering the ending prayer, we snuggled upstairs until bedtime, whiling away our sweet rest with an old James Bond movie before bedtime.

Friday, November 24, 2006


What a gorgeous Thanksgiving Day we had today! It was incredibly pretty; the kind of sunshiny day that hits 70 degrees and shares quirky, balmy breezes. After Morning Offering, Jim and Gary went out to deal with a Jim’s Lawn service emergency. Jim’s trailer has just gotten new tires. Apparently they are not the correct tires. One of his wheels has lost all but one lug nut. Jim found that the other four lug nuts were sheared off inside the holes, preventing a homemade repair. So Jim carefully drove the limping rig to the repair shop. AND THEY MADE IT! Now, we shall have to discover whether they can drill out those shorn bolts and repair the trailer. Here’s hoping!

We had had our feast day last Sunday with our treasured company for official Thanksgiving, so today was a work day for us. Gary worked some time at the Inbox for L/L Research before taking some time off for Thanksgiving. Jim worked all morning, knocking out one chore after another. I think he is at his happiest when cleaning up the chore list. Jim is an extreme case of a very masculine, cowboy-type man who likes his bunkhouse neat and clean – a wonderful combination of male and female energies that create close to a perfect mate. As far as I am concerned, the man hung the moon. So many men leave it all to the little woman. Not my Mick!

I spent the morning fiddling further with the footnotes in Chapter Two until the text of them read consistently. Then I printed the finished chapter out, finalized the footnote pages and put Chapter Two to bed.

We had a good lunch together and did our stretching routine before Jim headed out to clean St. Luke’s gutters. Now that is a hard job. On most residential houses, the roof is pitched at an angle upon which one can walk. From that vantage point, Jim can use his mighty blower, Huff Junior, to take the leaves out from above. However, St. Luke’s is steep-pitched of roof and mighty tall as a building, being a typical sacred space with a high, arched ceiling in the nave and chancel and a steeple. So Jim had to go up the ladder, take leaves out by hand as far as he could reach, then climb back down the ladder, move the ladder, and start all over again in the next position.

He reports that the roof gutters at the back of the church, where there is an outside staircase, is impossible to reach with a 24’ ladder. So he did not get those leaves – and so he had told Fr. Joe previously. Fr. Joe promised to find Jim a 32’ ladder, but did not. Jim says that’s OK since he cannot handle that size ladder by himself. He shall have to arrange with Gary to rent a big ladder and get that part of the job done for St. Luke’s as a duo.

In the afternoon, I worked first to apprise the Hays of what little Jim and I had discussed previously on funding for L/L Research. There were two previous suggestions made to us. Jeremy W, a seasoned volunteer who has done much good work for us, had suggested that we try to set up a pledge drive and encourage people to make pledges, with either their credit card or their bank account, so that we could have an actual income stream. At present we have only two such monthly volunteer donators.

Carol C, a new activist within our folds, just started talking with me about the possibilities of getting grants for our work. I know there is a lot of grant money out there. I never have had the slightest idea as to how to go about asking for it. Carol does this grant writing professionally and would like to help us. Those are our two avenues of fund-raising discussed briefly, so far.

When the Hays do call again, they can start from what we already know, which as you see is not a lot! I know they are far more sophisticated in raising funds and so forth. I am a babe in the woods, as is Jim. I hope we can come to some plan together which addresses this need.

After thanking some e-buddies for their holiday wishes, I sat down with correspondence concerning the Book of Days project. To my delighted surprise, Ian has gotten far enough along with the production that we must discuss final details, a real joy! In one e-mail, I discussed the size of the book. Ian had suggested a 6x9” book, a standard size but one which was larger than I had anticipated using for this little pocket companion. So I asked him if there might be a standard size smaller than 6x9”.

In another note, I thanked him for the footnote glitch repair of yesterday, letting him know there was still one mystery design in the footnote space, though it was not any longer holding a footnote, thank heavens. And I assured him that I would not make the choices of how to present text and end notes in the finished book.

In another note, we talked about the background fill for the front cover. He does not think the black background on Michele’s diamond cross design will print well. I suggested changing the fill color to indigo. If he thinks that is still too dark for safety in printing a clear, true cover, we can go to a gold or white cover. However I like the idea of a darker, more indigo-hued book. We’ll see if that is practical.

Our last correspondence had to do with the Book of Days’ appendices and my Preface. We also talked about getting comments for the back cover from clerics whom I already know. It would be good to have that. He tells me I will have time after he gets the basic manuscript together for me to show it to some candidates and ask for their reviews.

Then I tackled Rick C’s correspondence on the remastering project. That’s run into a serious glitch. His present tape deck is having trouble running the C-90 audiocassettes accurately and so errors are showing up in the CDs. Rick tells me he will need to dig up his big Technics deck for this work. The problem with that is that he moved house recently and his very large amount of studio equipment and finished projects are all still in a myriad of boxes in what is supposed, one day, to be his home studio. Right now, he says, it is a storage room. So he shall have to get ambitious in there and dig out the right box.

Oof! That is a huge job. Fortunately for his volunteer project with us, he lives Down East and winter is coming. While the cold winds of Maine blow, he will have some idle hours at hand for the work. It is wonderful of him to do the work for us! Without our volunteers, none of the internet-available material would be out there. And so much more! We have the greatest help in the world!

I also checked into whether he wants me to get hold of my brother Tommy’s original tapes from our music CDs. Rick says they are very unbalanced and he’d like to make them better! Well, me too!

And finally I asked him how he would feel, sometime down the road in warm weather, about setting up for a project of recording my singing in a cave. I love that idea and hope he does too. Caves are wonderful sacred spaces and I want to sing in nature.

Work for the day was done as Jim called bath time and we settled in for relaxation, football (Jim) and reading (Gary and I). We had so much to give thanks for, and a sweet time together. Jim offered the ending prayer at the Gaia Meditation and then he and I came upstairs to snuggle until bedtime.

Thursday, November 23, 2006


It was a glorious day, sunny and warming into the high 50s - great working weather for Jim, who was cleaning gutters and crunching leaves all day, putting more customers to bed.

After Morning Offering I took until lunchtime to write the UPI article for this week. I decided to explore some of my feelings about being ill. It was good to objectify some of that inner work I have been doing.

Pam had some questions for me and I worked with her for a while after I ate. She is sharp as a tack, but some of our account placements are not obvious and we worked to straighten that out. I continue to be thrilled with her work. Things are once again coming into the kind of good order for which Melissa was so famous around here, while we were fortunate enough to have her help.

Gary also met with me for an hour or so. He wanted to get some addresses from my Contacts list on Outlook, as he is gathering our Christmas card list for this year. That’s always a long job.

We add to our current list those people who are new to us. Each year we have an abundant harvest of new volunteers and channeling and counseling clients, and what a blessing that is! Their addresses need to be collected. Jim has new customers who need to be added in, and I personally have new friends, through church work, to greet.

All that data collection takes time. I asked Gary to get that together for us by the time we leave for our Nebraska trip, as Jim requested that we have all materials ready for assembling our cards by then, so he can do that work while visiting Mom McCarty. By the way, if you would like one of our Christmas card/calendars, please just write the L/L contact desk and Gary will add your snail mail address to the list. This means I shall need to write our Christmas letter early this year. We’ll spend our week with mom the first week in December – not so far off now!

I wrote Jean-Claude to thank him for his further encouragement of my singing project. I think he appreciates my voice as much as I appreciate his.

I had expected a call from the Hays today but it did not come in. I telephoned them, but my timing was off. However, I found that they want to discuss ways of creating funding for this book project, The Choice. I think that’s a great idea. We agreed they’d call me back when it was more convenient for them.

The whole household had a real mix-up as I tried to go to my manicure-pedicure appointment. I had no car! It turned out that Gary had taken it to get some emergency equipment Jim needed to him. My Outback, Stanley, is far better at hauling heavy things than Gary’s Escort so it is understandable that he borrowed it. I called his cell phone and he brought my car back pronto. And I had a grand and relaxing nail appointment with Tracy M, the best tech on planet Earth, I think.

After our bath, Jim and I went to enjoy a set and a half at Clifton’s, listening to Jeanette Kays and Greg Walker, with Sonny Stephens assisting on the bull fiddle. They sing the best close harmony and are always working up material that is fresh and new. They are such a delight to the ear. It was swell! We offered the Gaia Meditation on the way home and ended the evening with a James Bond movie and a good snuggle.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Frosty mailboxes and the scent of wood smoke! I love this time of year, when we can wear yummy, soft sweaters and snuggle into thick socks and cozy wool skirts and lined jeans. It is so good to breathe the air, a free woman, today.

I checked to be sure that Ian had straightened out the quote sequence in Chapter Two and sent both the now-complete Chapter Two and the rest of The Choice 101 – its Preface, Introduction and Chapter One – to the Hays. I got a note asking if we could talk further now that they have seen all I have done so far, and so I shall call them tomorrow, if they do not call me first. I spent quite a bit of time with my letter to them, as their support and encouragement have been remarkable and I wanted to thank them adequately.

I left early for lunch as Dianne and I had picked this day for some girlfriend time. We ventured downtown for a walk along Main Street, a picturesque downtown street full of fascinating art galleries and boutiques as well as tons of good restaurants, all in the preserved and restored historic buildings of the riverboat days in Big L. We had a wonderful time shoring up each others’ spirits and eating some excellent food at Proofs, a restaurant which fronts a big photography gallery which also houses many other handmade items for sale – if you have pockets full of cash! We contented ourselves with picking our favorites while having no attachment to buying anything.

Back home, I got a confirmation back from Michele M that it would be fine to use her “diamond cross” image for the front cover of A Book of Days, and that it is OK to make the background indigo. Now I am only waiting to hear if the book’s producer likes the image and feels he can work it into a cover design.

Jim and Gary worked all the afternoon in our yard. At last our yard has had the Jim’s Lawn Service treatment! It is a work of art! It shines! Jim says ours is the hardest yard he ever details, because of all his plantings and walks and so forth. But when he finishes, what a delight to the eye. I saw an Anchorage City car stop here a couple of days ago - even with all the leaves still on our ground - and take quite a few photos of the gazebo Jim built long ago, as a meditation hut, in the back of our yard, so other eyes do see the beauty as well. They were probably trying to get a nice photo of Wagner Park from the vantage point of our gazebo, as the gazebo is on the boundary between our land and the park.

I sent my brother Tommy the “Whoever Would Be Great Among You” music which Gary had kindly scanned in for me. That is the song he would like us to work up for offering to our clan at our Christmas gathering. He immediately replied to me, asking if Rosie, my oldest niece and his oldest child, could learn the song too. That solves the problem nicely – there are three parts in the song. We should have fun sharing that lovely little folk-art piece of sung scripture with the clan. And it is Tommy’s first effort to sing with me since his choosing to stop in about 1982, because he felt I was not acceptable as a Christian. So things have softened there, finally, which I am glad to see.

Ken B sent me a riveting and poignant piece written by Richard Harris, angry and moving, as a comment on my UPI article on Pope Benedict’s speech condemning Muslims and the Islamic world’s leadership’s response. The poem is too long to share here, but here is an excerpt:

“There Are Too Many Saviors on My Cross
There are too many saviors on my cross, lending their blood to flood out my ballot box with needs of their own. Who put you there? Who told you that that was your place?
You carry me secretly naked in your heart and clothe me publicly in armor crying "God is on our side," yet I openly cry Who is on mine? Who? Tell me, who?”

I wrote John Player thanking him for his kind words and encouraging him in his spiritual work. He, like so many of us, feels the sting of solitude when he wants to talk about spiritually oriented ideas, as his beloved circle of family and friends is not interested in these matters. It seems a most common situation for people who have awakened spiritually. That’s very encouraging, though, that I was able to make a good contact by a few words. Hopefully that is a lot of what we do here at L/L Research – have available for folks some good things to work with in the spiritual process.

I shared a couple of e-mails with Jean-Claude K, who is encouraging me in my idea of doing a singing project, recording my voice deep in a cave around here somewhere. All caves are sacred spaces and we have lots of them in Kentucky, which has limestone everywhere. I believe I will approach Rick C about recording me sometime when it is warmer weather – caves are always around 55 degrees F, but it is nice to come back out into warmth. Why travel the world to a pyramid when one has sacred spaces close all around one?

The remainder of the afternoon was spent writing to Carol C in response to her letter asking me about the way L/L Research is set up, what its tax-exempt status is and similar questions. She is interested in seeing if she can volunteer her grant-writing skills on our behalf. Hope, hope, hope! It would be grand to receive grant money to pay the substantial bills which our little company receives each month. It takes a lot of funding to pay the admin and bookkeeper, keep the books in print, pay for the web site and the broadcasting and make new books. Trust me: if you would like to donate, we can definitely find a good use for the money!

The rest of the day was a rest and relaxation. Romi and Gary joined us for supper and good conversation. After the Gaia Meditation, with Romi offering the closing prayer, they both departed and Jim and I watched a James Bond movie until we fell asleep around midnight.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


Ah, the chill of the coming sleep-season! It is delicious! No wine could be better than a breeze sharp-set with cold. Retrieving the paper is an adventure on such a morning!

After Morning Offering, Jim bundled up in many layers and went off to do chores for his customers. I worked on finishing up the details of Chapter Two having to do with verifying footnotes and putting the chapter to bed for now.

As it happened, I did not succeed. Some glitches, in the form of ghost footnotes with no content, had come to visit. I had 17 footnotes for only 14 quotations. I had no success whatever at removing the glitches, so sent the document to Ian, whose expertise is the most well-seated among all those whom I know to ask for help. I shall have another go at the chapter when he sends it back.

Jim and I shared lunch and our stretching exercises and then I did some desk-clearing in the afternoon, finally registering the warranty for my mouse, bundling up a skirt to send back to Sierra Trading Post, making new contacts in Outlook for new people and changing addresses for two old friends. I have been with earthlink for quite a few years now, and it seems satisfactory – no pop-up ads, little spam. It would appear that some of the more popular, larger sites do have those pesky ads. I’ll stick with earthlink!

I have not written the Hays, even though the Hay Fund, out of which I was paying L/L Research’s admin and bookkeeper, had run dry, because of the snail’s pace I am taking with the book for the writing of which they are freeing up my time. I am doing my level best. However, in my own estimation I am keeping too slow a pace to ask for more funds. However I got a morale-boosting surprise in the form of a telephone call, in which the Hays assured me that they would continue to donate as their own financial picture allowed.

My work ethic has me feeling guilty for not moving faster on this project, and so I told them by telephone. They assured me that I was doing OK. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for the incredible support.

I also discovered that Ian has been very busy in these last few weeks. He told me that he’d work on The Book of Days a reading at a time, maybe one a day, as he was swamped with other work right now. I figured he’d be ready to talk production sometime in 2007. However his latest note asks me to prepare the preface for the book and solicits my thoughts on the front cover! He thinks he will have the work completed and ready for book production in two to three weeks! Happy-dance time! It will be wonderful to see that sweet body of channeled work in print at last. I think it is probably some of my most eloquently nuanced channeling work ever, and I am very thankful to see it hit print. It will be a small book; a real “handbook”. And it will be mostly thanks to Morris H, our vice president at L/L Research and a real fan of that material. He has guaranteed matching funds for all other contributions towards the printing of the book. If you wish to donate, or to reserve a copy, just let Gary know by contacting him from the site.

Michele M had just sent me a very beautiful image she had created – it was a moment of sheer inspiration for her; she was not creating it for a project. She sent it to me simply because she thought I would enjoy seeing it. Well, I certainly did enjoy it, remembered it when Ian asked for cover art, and forwarded the image to Ian with the suggestion that perhaps this was a good image for the front cover. The image is of a very refined, slender cross of gracious proportions with a seeming source of light bursting from the crosspiece’s juncture. Its restraint and silent energy is moving to me and I think it may also be to others. So we shall see if Michele and Ian both like that idea.

If they do, I will suggest to them that the background of the image be indigo rather than full black, as that background color has been used several times for our other publications.

I had just a bit of time left before bath time, and answered e-mail, writing neighbor Calvin to thank her for a very clever Thanksgiving e-card. Various fruits and veggies rolled out and gradually formed a gorgeous turkey in full feather.

Dianne had written to confirm our lunch tomorrow, and I assured her I was very much looking forward to time with her. She’s five-feet-nothing and such a bundle of good energy I cannot express it.

Lastly, I wrote Dana Redfield, whose books on UFO contact, both fact and fiction, have helped so many people come into a fuller understanding of “whassup”. She had some difficult news. Cancer cells are still seen in her spine. Now she has had two operations to remove masses, and two rounds of chemo and radiation, one for lung cancer and the other for spleen cancer - and the only option offered her now is to have yet another round of both for the spinal cancer.

She at first was going to reject the treatment, as it is $7,000.00 per month for the regimen and she has no fortune. However, Medicaid OK’d the expense. Now she is feeling that such an unusual generosity from the government is a sign that the treatment will prolong her life enough to grant her more quality time amongst us and she will take the treatments. I feel especially close to Dana as we are both working with challenges in our catalyst, both physically and emotionally. We are encouraging each other to embrace our catalyst with acceptance and joy.

Bath time was so refreshing! We had a very quiet evening, offered the Gaia Meditation with Jim praying at the end and snuggled with the cats until lights out at 11 PM.

Monday, November 20, 2006


Happy Sabbath! While Jim cleaned house I went to choir practice and then sang the service at St. Luke’s. It was a fine morning, cold and crisp, frost on the mailbox and on the remaining fallen leaves. We sang lovely music this morning – “Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence” and “Give Almes”.

After lunch, Jim watched some football while I napped. He awoke me to take a bath with him, and when we were finished the house was full. Romi, Carmen and Connie had all arrived for our public Sunday meeting. It was especially grand to see Connie, who sometimes cannot make it to Louisville for our meetings, as she lives some distance from here and has responsibilities with her aging Mom. We had a good, long talk around the circle, catching up, before I went to tune for the channeling session.

The theme that had repeated as we talked around the circle of seeking was that we were all struggling right now with the response our personalities have to events and situations we tend to consider unfortunate or negative, even though we know that at the soul level, this is the perfect catalyst for teaching us what we need to learn. I have that situation physically, whereas most others in the group have some emotional or mental catalyst that is hard. I shall be interested to read the session once it is transcribed, as I know there is wisdom there for me.

After the meditation was finished, we shifted into holiday mode and shared a traditional turkey feast, complete with stuffing and gravy! Jim and Gary outdid themselves. There was even pumpkin pie, thanks to the kind offices of Mrs. Smith. Romi had brought wine and we uncorked that and shared a thanksgiving toast. I realize this was a bit early for that celebration, but Jim and I have found that it is better for us to have our entertaining on a Sunday, no matter what date the holiday is on, as the people we invite to such gatherings are our L/L Research circle anyway. Since we are all there on Sunday as a rule, why not consolidate!

After the Gaia Meditation the group began to break up and by 10 PM Jim and I were again solitary in the house, Gary having decamped to visit his girlfriend. We came upstairs for a lovely snuggle with the cats, saying good night around 11 PM.

Sunday, November 19, 2006


Jim and I awoke to a continually varied day, that speciality of Kentucky weather. Perhaps people all over the world say the same, but it does seem, in this neck of the woods, that if you do not like the weather, just wait! It will change.

After Morning Offering, Jim cooked during the morning. I was dragging badly and gave myself the day off. I slept most of the day. I sincerely hope that this state of apparent physical exhaustion can be improved. However for today, I yielded to what was happening and rested.

Jim was most happy today. Between chores he got to see a lot of football. He was especially interested in the Cal – USC game. I napped right alongside him and enjoyed the roar of the TV crowd and the barking of the commentators. I have strongly positive associations with this din, stemming from happy childhood Saturdays, with my Dad whistling to himself as he fixed our latest dead toaster or lamp, Mom and my brother Jim working a jigsaw puzzle and the football game dancing across the television screen as I read my latest book. Just hearing the crowd noise puts me in a good mood, to this day.

By nightfall our little acre was much improved, thanks to Jim’s care. He got up on the roof and blew all the leaves out of the gutters and worked further to crunch leaves on the ground in the yard. It is almost ended, this rainfall of leaves. We have only the willow and honeysuckle still in green clothing now, and those are firing up. Jim’s off-season has officially begun!

Gary arrived home from his sojourn in Ohio, very glad that he had attended his friend’s funeral and had been able to spend time with the whole crowd of which he and this young man were a part when they were growing up. After conversation and dinner, Gary left for his girlfriend’s home and Jim and I shared the Gaia Meditation, with me offering the ending prayer, before coming up to snuggle until bedtime at midnight.

Saturday, November 18, 2006


Fridays are always welcomed around here, ever since starting Jim’s Lawn Service in 2001. This created a normal “work week” for us. Prior to that, because of Jim’s steadiness of habits, we had a universal schedule as far as working hours. These days, we have weekdays like most of the rest of America and prize our weekends.

This day was a dandy, with first rain, then sun, then wind, and chilly gusts bringing down the few remaining oak leaves. The earth smelled wonderful. After Morning Offering I scooted over to Images Salon, where I got a long-overdue haircut. I also made my appointment for turning into a Christmas elf. I will tint my hair a very quiet green, dark except for my gray highlights, which should come out a lighter green. I think it will make me smile. I expect others will smile as well – it will be unusual, for sure. My kind of fun.

I was able to lunch with Mick. That was a pleasure. I came upstairs after that to explore any action we can take to alter our difficult neighbor’s driveway, which rolls right past our living room windows. We can do nothing whatever, legally speaking. He has every right to do whatever he wishes with his property except harbor vermin.

It was interesting to me to watch myself go through my responses to that news from Anchorage’s city clerk. Firstly I sat down to write a letter to the neighbors, asking them to make the change voluntarily. When Jim came home from his exhausting day playing with the leaves, I showed him the letter. He said he saw no use in sending it as we knew in advance what our neighbor’s response would be. And he is right there! The letter will not have any effect on that driveway.

For hours, however, I was still in the mood to send that letter just to get everything clearly stated. The man lied to us on this issue twice. I somehow felt it would be closure for me to state the facts of the situation clearly for all to see.

I began to get enough space on this as the evening went on to see how unskillful I was about this. Sometimes life is unfair. That – as they say – is just life. I saw how easily I had been distracted from better work this afternoon by my desire to resist what is. Psychic greeting does not have to be dramatic or obvious. Just tweaking an already existing tendency to take things too much to heart does the job just as well.

By bedtime, I had determined to burn the letter with prayers for compassion, thanksgiving and forgiveness. The letter does hold closure but only within me. I have powerful emotions about this issue, because Jim’s and my trust was betrayed. So it is good to have a ceremony of giving this over to Mother Earth.

I had bought a new mouse for my computer and spent an hour or so being completely unable to register my warranty. I tried by computer and the software on their warranty site was inactive. Clicking “register now” did nothing. So I called their customer service number, which was their other option for registering it. When I had done my stork-like finger-dance of pressing one, pressing three, pressing one, going through their menus, I was delivered to a line with presence. People were talking in the background. However no one ever talked to me. Bath time came and I had not been effective! I shall have to try tomorrow.

Mick and I had such a wonderful bath! After a prolonged whirlpool, I started to get dressed to go out, for Mick had invited me to Jack Fry’s for some jazz and a burger. Ray Johnson holds forth on piano several nights a week and it’s one of our favorite joints in a town filled with great jazz sites. However, I faced my true physical condition and changed the plans. Jim got me a lovely meal from Applebee’s and we spent a most peaceful and enjoyable evening right here at home, where I can put my hotpad across what aches and just kick back. We had the best time!

After the Gaia Meditation we came upstairs for a romantic snuggle and said good night around midnight.

Friday, November 17, 2006


It was a wet, soggy day and Jim somehow managed to work between spells of stormy weather to get his leaves crunched and his other customers’ chores done for the day.

After Morning Offering, I consulted for a while with Gary on various matters L/L. He sent me Will’s revised questions. They still needed tweaking as they were diffuse, but Will’s work had enabled me to see his priorities, so I did not feel that I was distorting his questions in making them easier for the Q’uo group to sink their collective teeth into for a helpful response.

Gary put in some Inbox admin time for L/L Research before lunch. I got little done in the morning, dealing with the onslaught of bathroom calls which hits my body from about 6 AM until mid-afternoon, the thickest frequency being from about 9 to 12 noon, which is why my mornings have been so unproductive lately.

After lunch, Jim, Gary and I sat down for Will’s session. He called in at 1 PM. His questions were mostly about raising an Indigo Child skillfully, and the dynamics of having a psychic connection with his child. He also asked about creative work, and I found his question on sounds versus words in writing music interesting personally, as I also write songs from time to time.

Gary left immediately after the session for Ohio, whence he hails, as a childhood friend has died and there is a lot of blessing in the closure of attending the funeral.

I came upstairs and worked through the remainder of Chapter Two of The Choice. It was a banner day in that I did not feel the need to rip it up and start over, a feat for which I am famous, as I really like my work to be my best. I think this chapter is that, now.

We shall see what my readers – Gary B, Melissa T and Steve M – have to say! I sent it off to all three of them. My next work will be to put that chapter to bed, in terms of being sure all my quotations are in order and the work, for now, completed on that.

I had an appointment with the Hubbard Clinic after that, and really had to scoot to make it – but got there just in time. The news there was drab, as I suppose it must be when the condition being dealt with is drab as well! I am not responding to the medications given so far. The nurse practitioner, Jan E, who is working with me, was also concerned that I had not healed better, yet, from the burst bladder. She is so cute, sitting there thinking. Unfortunately she has had to do that a lot in my case, as I seem to be anomalistic. She reminds me of a cook deciding just how to spice the dish. A bit of this; a little of that – I can see here clever mind at work. And they apparently do have quite an arsenal of choices in terms of medications which try to deal with my symptoms. She assured me that they would keep trying things until something works!

A new prescription was also given for serious pain medication in the form of suppositories. I handed that in to the drug store on the way home. It is an odd medicine and they shall have to order it, so for about a week, I am still on my own in the event of a severe episode. You would think that a big store like Walgreen’s would have one of everything. But no. I asked the pharmacist to messenger over the prescription from another pharmacy, but he refused. He told me either to drive across town myself and place the prescription with a store where they carry this suppository or wait. The words, “store policy” were used. I opted to wait, since it is not easy to drive across town these days; nor is it cheap!

I remember, being an old woman of 63 and a half years now, when stores actually wanted to serve their customers. I miss that.

I returned hoping to answer some e-mail, as I had neglected it entirely over the weekend. However it was the silly season. My mouse died, quietly, in the middle of a sentence. There was no trauma. I did not drop the thing. It just flat quit working. After a telephone consultation with Roman, and no joy from his trouble-shooting, I removed the offending mouse’s USB plug-in and got the old one I was using before, from our computer storage drawer. It came apart on my way upstairs and I could not find the little rubber ball which is part of the hardware. Late this evening, Chloe found it, however, and brought it downstairs in her teeth. She loves that little ball! So my computer “mouse” becomes a cat “mouse” toy! It may be mouse heaven still to be loved when the computer function is gone!

I was now officially out of mice! I went to the office supply store and replaced the mouse. Jim was waiting with a bath when I returned, and we moved into the evening’s relaxation. Jim watched football – the Mountaineers and the Panthers – while I read. After the Gaia Meditation, with Jim offering the prayer, we came upstairs for a final snuggle before bedtime.

Jim had a coupon at the Sleep Number store, and today he gave me a “body pillow” with that coupon. I love it! What a good idea. I curled up into it as we said good night around 11 PM.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

2006-11-15 Part Two

The day was awash with rain and chilly with it. The British would call it “a bit fresh”. So after Morning Offering, Jim settled in to a day of errands and chores, having caught up his customers’ work on Monday and Tuesday by virtue of working until full dark both days. He had a real backlog of chores, and radiated happy vibes all day as he knocked out his to-do list. This is literally his first “off-season” day and he has enjoyed it thoroughly.

I did too, as we rose an hour later, officially now on off-season time. After settling Pam, who had arrived while we were still at our Morning Offering, with the financial books, I went upstairs to write the UPI article for the week. I had received a fascinating article from psychologist, Linda W-P, and also noted how patiently and moderately the Islamic officialdom had responded to the new Pope’s inflammatory remarks last month about the Muslims, I wanted to put that all together.

Jim was home for lunch, which he says will be a regular thing from now on! Now that’s good news! Being with Mick always gives me a little lift, even after all these years of working together and being one heart. His good energy never palls.

Before I came upstairs after lunch, I worked with Pam on the bookkeeping for L/L Research. She had not dealt yet with book orders and it can be a bit complex to record those transactions. Some come in with the order charged to a credit or debit card, and those donations are handled differently than cash and check donations. Instead of the check number, one records the “batch number” which the merchant service assigns to each transaction.

We got that all worked out. I was, however, very unhappy to find that although Pat S SAID he had balanced all three accounts, he had only balanced one. The L/L Research checking account still does not reconcile. Pat, shame on you! I shall have to call or write him tomorrow and see about that. The whole point of his visit was to reconcile those three accounts.

Pam is a crackerjack, once she gets the picture! I am very pleased with her work. And what a relief to have the books in good hands at last. Since Melissa left, we have been woefully short of bookkeeping expertise. Neither Dottie nor Lynn, our two previous bookkeepers, knew what they were doing, and oh my! The horror! The horror! (Excuse me, Kurtz. It is your line.) I was not all that much better, either. Thank you, Lord, for Pam!

After Pam and I finished, Gary came upstairs and helped me to switch over to the new version of, upon which web site the Camelot Journal rests. I was able to post to it successfully after the switch, and so that much, the basic part, is done. Gary will help me with the fancier details at a later time.

I napped for a while in my office chair after Gary departed, inadvertently, and then awoke and worked on editing Chapter Two of The Choice for the rest of the afternoon.

I got all but the very last of Chapter Two vetted before Jim called bath time. We greatly enjoyed the bath and some relaxation together before I went to choir rehearsal at St. Luke’s.

When I returned, Gary, Jim and I shared supper and the Gaia Meditation, with Jim offering the ending prayer. Gary reported that he has a friend back in Ohio who has just died. So Gary will have to work in and around the need to leave once again and attend the funeral. I am sure we will not suffer for his screwy schedule. Gary is always the soul of responsibility when it comes to his admin work for L/L Research. But he will be scrambling! He just got the Inbox caught up after three days away, and now he will leave tomorrow again. It will come out perfectly, I know. But the gent will be scrambling, for sure.

Jim and I said good night to Gary a bit after ten and ascended the stairs to my room for a final snuggle with the kitties before lights out at 11 PM.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

2006-11-15 Part One

It is mid-afternoon and Gary and I are responding to the request of that we switch the Camelot Journal to a newer version of their freeware. We are using this entry to make sure I understand how to post entries using the new version. If you see this, Gary succeeded in penetrating my skull and teaching me something new!


After Morning Offering on this chilly, unevenly tempered morning, Jim braved the gusts in his winter underwear and crunched leaves all the day. Gary arrived back from his mini-vacation, during which he hiked in the Smoky Mountains with his girlfriend, Valerie, and attacked the Inbox with gusto around noon.

I had begun the day, after I wrote my Camelot Journal entry for yesterday, with some memos to Gary about work that needs doing. One big item is gathering Christmas card information. Each year we need to do this sweep, as each year, we have met and had wonderful interactions with new people, for me personally at church; for Jim’s Lawn Service in the form of new customers and for L/L Research, those people who have visited us or volunteered or donated in a special way this year.

I also asked Gary to make some drawings on graph paper, to represent all the measurements Jim is taking of our present rooms and furniture. As we plan our move to Avalon, we want to be sure we have enough “room” in our rooms for our furniture. We are hoping to have all the work complete by the end of November, so that we can make an appointment to speak again with the passive solar architect, Gary Watrous.

I wrote both Gary B, who sends out the Gatherings Newsletter, and Tim M, who sends out the Light/Lines newsletter, asking them both to send a notice to their send groups of the upcoming broadcasts of our sessions. The broadcasts will start in December and run through May. Roman V will moderate and run the equipment that makes the broadcast possible. Since we just sent out both newsletters in October, it is likely that the newsletters will not be sent again before those broadcasts begin.

Gary had sent me a letter from Will, who has booked a personal channeling session this coming Thursday, in which Will attempted to focus his areas of concern for the upcoming session. The focus was not clear enough yet for me to be able to edit his questions, so I sent the letter back and asked Will to get the focus honed down to where I can tweak his questions without altering them.

This is really important. In years long past, now, when I was way smarter, or thought I was, I changed a couple of personal questions to suit myself and discovered that when I do that, I get the answers for which I am looking – which are not necessarily as helpful to the fee-paying client as his or her own wording! So these days I am more aware of my limitations and more careful to preserve the clients’ confusion and just ask for him or her to do more work, rather than my “fixing” things.

Jeff P, our L/L Research lawyer, and I had a couple of rounds of correspondence during the day, working on what needs to be done next up in Trimble County, where Avalon’s land lies. We seem to be in similar states of unknowing as regards the next step. Jeff will make inquiries of the courthouse in Bedford.

Dianne S and I found a date to meet for lunch – this Friday. I look forward to that. Dianne is very socially and politically aware and always has fresh news for me from the various and many web sites she visits daily in her ceaseless search for the truth. Now there’s a gal to respect! She has the care of her husband, Milt, whose seizures have become more frequent and have worsened in terms of severity as well. Many times he is only barely aware of consensus reality. She sees to his needs with great love and almost no help from his family, except that when she does want to visit with me or go out to shop, Milt’s mom will “baby-sit” him. That is how she is managing to spend time with me, and I am honored.

For the remainder of the day I worked as I was able on rereading Chapter Two. So far, I am most happy to say that I like the work I have done. Now THAT is a signal blessing. I am my own severest critic. I shall continue editing on Chapter Two tomorrow.

It was my time for an eye check-up. It seems my cataracts are quiescent still, as there is no change from last year. My eyesight has lost a bit of acuity in my off eye – the left one, which was rolled into my head, piercing the amygdale, at birth - but also remains pretty much as it has been. This is all great news!

Jim arrived just before dusk from all his labors, at which he had been completely successful. “Hey, Ruck,” he said upon his return, “I think this has been my last hard day of the season!” From now on, he has only to put about a half-dozen customers’ lawns which have late-falling leaves to bed, out of about two dozen customers in all. And then, for his winter off-season, he will have only odd jobs, gardening and rock work. The mowing is done at last – well, almost. By the end of November, all will be sleeping sweetly in winter’s chilly bed.

Jim mowed some on our very own leaves before quitting for the day and it looks really nice in the yard now! I love it when that happens! We do have to wait until last for our work to be done, just like the cobbler’s kids waiting for their shoes. It stands to reason – his customers have to come first. It’s great to get our turn, though.

Romi came over to do maintenance on our three L/L Research computers and stayed for supper and the Gaia Meditation. We had a most pleasant conversation until after 10 PM, when both Gary and Romi bade us a good night, and Jim and I went upstairs for a last snuggle with the kitties before seeking our beds around 11 PM.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


I can hear some elves in the woodwork as the holidays creep ever closer! It was cold and sunny today, and Jim dealt all day with the huge numbers of leaves that have all come down at once on many of his clients’ lawns.

Meanwhile I worked as I could and managed to write about Adolf Hitler, at last doing the final bit of writing on Chapter Two of The Choice. I was most thankful to get some forward motion going on that project again at last, no matter how slow and slight.

Jim had a grand idea on how to adapt to my present crisis. He said he could put a board over the tub in the upstairs bath for my papers and such, and then have me sit on the john with my lap desk holding my computer. That way I would not have to take the time away from my work to make the round trips to the throne from the upstairs office. It’s a definite thought but I ponder the desirability of branding my bottom with the imprint of the toilet seat.

I had a chat with Jan, at the Hubbard Clinic, and she said that they had a suppository they prescribe for those whose tummies are sensitive to pain medication. She will give me a prescription for those suppositories Thursday, when I next have an appointment there. The severity of the cramping is sometimes acute and I could use some help in dealing with that. The prognosis is that I will experience these symptoms for some time to come, with the present helping medication beginning to take effect only after about half a year, so I do need some pain management, presently.

I feel that I am beginning to be able mentally to cope with this, and that is a wonderful feeling. I acknowledge that there is a loss of mental acuity from the pain, and so I am giving myself more time to do things and more time to rest and even nap. This is not an easy situation, and my body needs the rest. However I believe I can start, now, to take up my normal work, the writing and editing. This is a judgment made cautiously, but I believe I am on good ground.

It seems to me important that I build on my recent work and continue to look at my real work not as fiddling with my computer and producing things in the world, but as remaining present at all times and in touch with the joy of my being. With that essential work in place, THEN I can do the writing and other outer work. But first comes my connection with the Creator, with my guidance and most of all with my essential self.

On another topic entirely, we certainly have a difficult neighbor. The charmer that he is, he strung a string from some benchmark at the back of his property up to the street in order to show Jim that our satellite dish was – I am not kidding – four inches over the property line. “If you wanted more property, you should have bought more property,” he said. This happened perhaps a week ago.

Jim did the Right Thing, walked away from a confrontation with the neighbor and called the dish people, who moved the dish safely within our property line today.

They did it for free, since it was a hostile neighbor with a property line issue. They have seen all this before! I told the guy about this neighbor and he said that this happens often enough that there are federal guidelines which govern such placement. Otherwise, neighbors who do not like the look of the dish – a gadget that would fit in a space three feet square – would rag their customers to death.

The dish guy was grinning when he came in to have me sign the work order after moving the dish. The neighbor had sidled up to him and tried to talk him into moving the dish somewhere in the back yard. There’s no place in our back yard where you can find a site without interference from trees. They’ve looked. It cannot be done. He said he took some enjoyment from explaining to the neighbor that he was working within federal guidelines, and he would be delighted to provide him with a copy of them.

Jim worked so long today that he was stopped only by the advent of darkness, not arriving home until about an hour and a half after he was due. I was so glad to see him pull in! Nothing was wrong – the work was hard, and took far longer than he had hoped. He was cleaning gutters as well as crunching leaves, and the ladder moving takes time.

We had a good bath and then enjoyed a very quiet evening. After supper and the Gaia Meditation, we came upstairs for a romantic snuggle and some time with the cats before saying good night around 11 PM.

Monday, November 13, 2006


It was a quiet Sabbath for me, since I had decided to pass up singing at church in favor of staying home and resting up to do the channeling session. While the weather played rainy-day-sunny-day, I mostly rested.

I did get two items taken care of, following through with Jim’s and my talk yesterday. I sent Gary Watrous, the passive solar architect, our worksheet, filled out partially, and letting him know we have a plan for collecting the rest of the information he needs and having that ready to talk over at another meeting with him after December first.

And I sent Jeff, our L/L Research lawyer, notes on how we want to revise our lease agreement, to reflect Jim’s and my reserving a couple of lots at the very mouth of Avalon’s land, places we cannot farm in any event.

The Sunday meeting was most enjoyable. Present were Tom F, Jim McCarty, Romi and me; a small but very good group. Since no one in the circle of seeking here locally had a question, we asked one from Monica L concerning the feelings she has had about world governance and politics ever since finding out that 9-11 was a managed event.

I look forward to the transcript! I never know how a session went, as I am busy in a mechanical, focused way during a session, receiving concepts and translating them into language.

I got some invitations ready to send out to our local waifs – the people who do not have family nearby, and who might enjoy a Thanksgiving feast with us. After that, I mostly dozed and read while the gentlemen enjoyed football and conversation, a good supper, and we shared the Gaia Meditation, with me offering the closing prayer.

After Romi and Tom departed, Jim and I called his Mom and then came upstairs for a late evening snuggle before bedtime around 11 PM.

Sunday, November 12, 2006


It’s harmonic convergence day, being 11-11! The world was weeping gently most of the morning and dampened me as I got the paper before we made our Morning Offering. It is to be noted that the Saturday puzzle is always the hardest one of the week, and I solved it! Such things gladden my heart.

Jim cooked for the week ahead while I went to St. Luke’s to sit and accept photo shoot people. St. Luke’s is making a new Parish Directory with photos of the members, to help everyone get to know everyone in this era of expansion at St. Luke’s. I did that until close to lunch time and came home feeling extremely ill. For a while, I rested and recovered, most thankful for my hot pad.

Jim went out for errands and came back with our fast food lunch treat – we do enjoy our weekends! After we had watched some football and eaten, we sat down for a couple of hours of serious talk and decision making about our future plans for Avalon. It was an excellent work session and we got things decided, to the point where we know how to proceed.

We shall move ahead with the paperwork for revising the lease between L/L Research and Jim and me. One revision will be to place a periodicity on the lease. The other revision will be to reserve from the lease the two lots we intend to survey out for ourselves – one for Jim and me and one for another L/L Research family. It is important to reserve these lots now, before anything occurs on Avalon in the way of income production. Otherwise it might appear that we were using L/L-leased land for private purposes, after designating it as leased to a non-profit corporation. This would imperil our non-profit status and we wish to be solid in supporting that status. It is somewhat expensive to do this surveying and so forth, but to stay in our integrity we need to do that.

We will also reserve Sugar Shack as our personal place. It is a charming old shack and if L/L Research has fortune in the future, it would be a beautiful idea to make a little museum of it, basically rebuilding it in place to look the same and putting all the old L/L artifacts there, everything from the items in the room we used for the Ra sessions to the typewriter upon which Jim transcribed the Ra sessions and all the bent spoons in between.

We have plenty of poplar boards to harvest, as there is another ramshackle building on the land, now collapsed completely, which boasts many good boards. We could definitely reconstruct the original if we wish.

However our reason for reserving it is that we would like to live there while our house is being built. Therefore it needs to be reserved from the lease and held for personal use.

Once that was decided, we dived into Gary Watrous’s passive solar design for the house. We shall have a good bit to do, measuring room areas and furniture and making many choices, before consulting with him again.

I will take our notes from today and send them to Gary by e-mail, letting him know our subjective timetable for getting all the measuring done. We shall ask him to plan on meeting again in December.

Other than these two good deeds on my part, I mostly slept the day away. I cannot imagine why I am so exhausted, but I do seem to be so. I got a call late yesterday from Dr. June’s lab department. They wanted me to know I was severely anemic and asked if I was having an internal bleed. I am not – the characteristic black, tarry look of the stool is not present. However, I shall have to go back to Dr. Aboud with that little development.

It makes little sense, unless my body has once again stopped absorbing nutrients. It did that once before, in the years leading up to the resection of half of my transverse colon. I eat plenty of protein, being a typical meat eater and eating some form of meat, whether fowl, fish or red meat, daily. I am fortunate in that I already have started an investigation into possible problems in the GI tract. I see Dr. Wright of the Digestive Health Center at the U of L Medical School again in December.

So – for the present, I am seeking only to stay present and conscious with this. If I can work in the outer world, wonderful, but that is not the point right now. I sense every chance that the loyal opposition would like me to react to these circumstances by losing heart and becoming depressed at my lack of seeming forward motion, especially on the Choice project. Consequently I feel my chief work now is maintaining my even keel. Approached with a sense of rightness and thanksgiving, no illness or pain can sway the open heart. That is my present goal: remaining myself, aware and conscious.

At the same time, being a practical person, I am altering my eating habits to reflect the recommendations of the doctors for treating interstitial cystitis.

Jim worked in the yard during the afternoon hours, coming in to share a bath and the evening with me. We offered the Gaia Meditation amidst a flurry of football games and ended the evening snuggling with the cats, saying good night around midnight.

Saturday, November 11, 2006


The sun shone, finally, in true Indian Summer style today. After Morning Offering, Jim and Gary tackled the big Friday load of lawns to tidy. Leaves were bagged and leaves were crunched, as the process of putting each of his customers’ lawns to bed for the winter continues.

I had a difficult day physically, so asked of myself only to find my joy and remain present with the joy, the physical catalyst of discomfort and the possibilities of the moment. In those terms it was a great day for me, full of practicing the presence of infinite love.

In terms of work done, my output was modest – I was responsible for getting members of the choir to serve as volunteers for the photo shoot at St. Luke’s tomorrow, and got that set up by e-mail and telephone. And I started editing the third Aaron/Q’uo Dialogue bunch. And naps – I was an excellent napper this afternoon.

Jim was extremely sensitive to my woes and decided that it would be good to take me to listen to some jazz and have a steak, which I have been craving for at least a week. We went to Park Place, at the ball part in the downtown area, and I enjoyed Steve Crews’ cool jazz piano while we feasted on possibly the best meal in years! At the last moment I veered from steak because there was an offering of rack of lamb in rosemary mint sauce. It was all wonderful!

We offered the Gaia Meditation upon returning home, with Jim offering the prayer, and then it was upstairs for a romantic tryst and a cuddle with the kitty cats before lights out around midnight.

Friday, November 10, 2006


After Morning Offering, Jim left with many garbage bags, as all his jobs this morning are with customers who wish their leaves bagged rather than mulched. I worked on e-mail throughout the day as I was able. I wrote to:
- Dianne S about global politics
- Romi, about how to let people know about the broadcasts. The info is under “Recent Updates” on
- Writing a catch-up letter to Ruthie M, whose psychic abilities match the excellence of her general nature.
- Carol C, to thank her for many kind words and to ask her about grant writing for L/L Research
- Ann P, discussing why she once passed me a note in class in 1960 which read, “In God, we trust”.
- Dana R, sharing about the experience of being ill. She has just had treatment for cancer and is recovering.
- Monica L, about her son’s offering to create a forum for L/L Research. He has grown up being taught LOO principles, and is just now graduating high school. However, he has already built several web sites for schools which he has attended and is a whiz. It would be excellent to have official L/L Research forums again.
- Lisa L, my choir mistress, about measurements for new choir robes
- Beth H, discussing interstitial cystitis. Her daughter in law has this diagnosis also and Beth was asking about how I coped with the pain and also the need to visit the bathroom often. I told her that I was new to dealing with this and had no real idea of how to manage it. Indeed, the discomfort has kept me from working on the Choice book these last couple of weeks.
- Fran G, thanking her for her MacDuffie alumna information
- Melissa T, regarding the bookkeeping. I asked her how one enters consignment orders from places like
- Kevin B, about micronutrients. I asked him to send me a blurb that I can take to my doctor for approval.
- Ian J, to thank him for work on the web site and also for a good photo send
- Tiffani M, regarding Homecoming
- Michelle M, thanking her for sending me a lovely cross-like image she had designed and discussing an illustration she will make for the Choice books.
- Mystery B, about her feelings of isolation and being different, all very congruent with being a Wanderer
- Rick C, giving him a Kentucky report and responding to his last seven Maine reports. I also thanked Rick for the very interesting article he sent me on the world of Islam’s response to the Pope’s latest bull, which claims that Jews are evil. I think I will use it for a UPI article soon.
- Terry H, thanking him and his wife for their prayers during this time of illness.
- Gary B, sending him a newly completed session transcript which he can forward to the people who asked those questions.

For some reason the discomfort I have been feeling seems gradually to be getting worse rather than better. I had been off pain medication since a week ago. However I believe I will call Jan E at the Hubbard Clinic tomorrow and take her up on her offer of alternative pain medication. Perhaps I can find one that doesn’t make me sick to my stomach.

I broke the afternoon with a telephone consult with Dr. Johnson, an osteopath to whom I go for hormone replacement prescriptions. My latest lab test show that I am quite outside the normal range on four of six kinds of hormone. Accordingly, he will change the compounding prescription to reflect my body’s changing needs.

I also got a call from Paula at Dr. June’s office letting me know that I was very anemic. I shall need to follow up on this with my GP, Dr. Aboud.

I was exhausted by bath time and was probably not the greatest company as I dozed next to Mick, who was riveted on the U of L-Rutgers game. I love sitting next to Mick as he enjoys a game of sports on TV. He radiates a certain kind of joy that is delicious.

We enjoyed supper and the Gaia Meditation with Gary, Jim offering the closing prayer. Then it was good-night at around 11 PM.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


The dampness of warm and rapidly drying leaves touched my nose as I got the paper before Morning Offering, but the day turned pretty by afternoon and we ended up with shirt-sleeve weather. After the Offering, Jim headed out to mow and I came upstairs to write the UPI article for the week.

It was a tough morning for me, spent mostly in the bathroom, but I did write the column somehow. It was a topic I had wanted to address – the breath, and how central that is to our spiritual nature – and I enjoyed telling the story about Jean-Claude and me last January in Palm Springs. When I sent the column off to Larry M, my UPI editor, I sent Jean-Claude a copy also. And, just before lunch, I discussed Christmas plans with Brother Tommy, who has started to look for a nearby B&B.

After lunch I dealt with the damage the morning had brought to our new bookkeeper, Pam M. Being quite unable to balance the accounts left in sad disrepair by Lynn, I had called in Pat S of our tax firm. He had spent the morning getting things shaped up. Unfortunately, his style of teaching Pam as he went was to rattle off directions while changing screens at the speed of light. It was completely useless – nay, otiose – as a teaching method and put poor Pam in a swivet. She did not know what he was doing. She was not capable of doing this job. Her confidence vanished like smoke before a storm.

I took a deep breath! Thanks for the catalyst, Pat. I told Pam she was just fine, which she most certainly is. After a few minutes of reasoning, she WAS just fine again and we were ready to tackle things together.

While Pam was at lunch I sat down with Pat and talked through her way of doing things. I felt sure it would work. She runs seven other small businesses’ books and has met all tax needs for them for the last six years. Pat said, well, yes, that would work. He was reluctant. He likes the more baroque ways which he taught our previous bookkeeper, to our woe. I said, Pat, if it will work, we’re changing over at the first of the year! He agreed.

When Pat left, Pam and I sat down and agreed that by January first, we would have a plan for changing the books so we could do things her way. So we are now on a positive track.

Of course, we did not manage to get every piece of paperwork on the desk done because of the majority of the day being spent by Pat hogging the books in order to balance them. However Pam and I sifted through all three accounts’ loads of paperwork, seeking out the bills to pay and getting them paid, so we can wait to record all the other transactions until next week.

By five o’clock, when Pam left, I was very weary and sore of body. I chose to take another week off from church, and stayed home from choir practice, accordingly. It was lovely to get all clean and then to rest for the evening. I did a lot of napping! After the Gaia Meditation, we came upstairs and ended the evening snuggling with the cats. We said good night around 11 PM.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


Voting Day 2006 was a drizzling, dark and oak-leaf-strewn day, not the best for getting out the vote, but the stakes are high and Jim, Gary and I went up to cast our ballots soon after Morning Offering. This is the 22nd anniversary of Don's death, and we all paused to send his sweet and noble soul our love and thanks.

Jim had a rain-out morning and spent the time profitably by going to Louisville Tractor with Susie, the smaller of the commercial mowers, due for a 100-mile tune-up, and buying a new blower to replace his old, bungee-cord-handled one, which bit the pavement recently, falling under the trailer and being dragged to death. We were sorry to see the end of old Huff, which was given to Jim by Marion, Don’s uncle, and me almost a decade ago now. We asked the spirit of old Huff to enter the body of Huff, Junior, as we love that sweet and willing machine-soul.

While Gary manned the admin desk downstairs I came up to do what I could, still clutching my hotpad and feeling muzzy-headed. However, throughout the day I got some e-mail written. The list includes letters to:
- Larry M, letting him know I was ill, and thanking him for his article on the peace initiative. I especially like what he said about the media – that it needs to spend as much time reporting conflict resolution as it does reporting conflict.
- Pupak H-B, encouraging her as she attempts to go through immigration paperwork to come to our Midwinter Gathering from Britain
- Encouragement to Tim M as he and his wife explore a different approach to the spiritual walk, and thanks as he continues his volunteer efforts for us
- My brother, Tommy, updating him on Christmas plans and offering to help him find a B&B for his family, as not all of our tribe fits in our house
- Terry H, thanking him for some very kind words and also congratulating him on working almost through Book Four in his translation of TLOO into Chinese.
- Dave G, assuring him that books he wanted us to receive have not been received yet
- L/L Research Lawyer Jeff, regarding the Avalon situation with L/L Research’s lease and our plans to move there personally
- MacDuffie alumna Lee R, thanking her for kind comments and also for her recent news, which I will write into an article soon for the alumnae magazine
- Linda W-P, thanking her for an amazing article on an ancient Hawaiian healing technique called oponopono. A web site you can start with to read further is I was so impressed with this material! It may provide good meat for a UPI article soon.
- Harry P, a musician who had invited us to a special peace and healing evening with his jazz ensemble. We could not attend due to my illness and so I told him, encouraging him to ask us again next time.
- Mystery B, a seeker attempting to contact me, referred by my very old anarchist friend, Allen Greenfield, who is now a Gnostic Bishop. His memory of me is fuzzy, I think, as he called me Carl in his letter of recommendation. Gee, you would have thought he’d have noticed that I was a lady!
- Les of the Angels, whom I thanked for sending me information on something called micronutrients. That web site is As with many threads of research, you have to read carefully and ponder at length!
- Heidi J, to thank her for her kind words about a UPI article on high school reunions I wrote recently
- Melissa T, to thank her fervently for standing ready to help our new bookkeeper from her faraway new home out west
- Steve M, to thank him for working on The Choice, reading and commenting on Chapter One
- Rosi B, to thank her for an incredibly positive and light-filled message
- Monica L, addressing her concerns about how to pursue spiritual process when your work is almost entirely with computers, not people.

Somewhere in there, I stopped for lunch and a nap. I was right to feel I needed some healing time right now. I went to sleep as soon as I gave myself permission and slept a solid three hours! Before I came back upstairs, Gary sat down with a tape recorder and Terry H’s latest batch of questions on the translating work, and I spent perhaps an hour putting answers to his questions on tape for Gary to transcribe and send to him.

After Jim finished his day, cutting up leaves in the drizzle, we had a lovely bathe and settled down for a quiet evening, me with my hotpad and Jim with all the kitties to pat. Romi joined us for supper and the Gaia Meditation and we all enjoyed an episode of House on TV before saying good night to Romi and Gary and coming upstairs to enjoy a last snuggle. Jim and I parted for the night around 11 PM.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


After Morning Offering I went out in the freshening air to get the catheter out which I had worn since Thursday when my bladder burst. What a blessing to be entirely unto myself again! I had kept myself clean and neat, but when you cannot bathe and get that all-over clean feeling, it’s not the same in terms of feeling really “dainty”. I was seriously missing that dainty factor. The bath this evening was wonderful!

Back home I visited briefly with Gary, who had a couple of questions at the L/L Admin desk, and then went back to the bower office to work with e-mail. I gave myself that task today, since it takes far less focus to work with that than with editing or writing and I feel quite rocky, still. In the event, I overdid a bit and paid for it with more pain in the evening. Tomorrow I shall be careful to take time just for resting. I was way too happy to be at work doing even the more trivial things! I really need to continue to learn to pace myself. It is being – NOT DOING – that is the true service. I tell others that. Now I tell it to myself.

I caught up with our web guy, and complimented him on the way he put together the Carla’s Page and the Carla’s Blog features on the left-hand menu of the home page on Now I do not have to worry about how to tell folks where to find my Journal or information about our channeling sessions for personal clients. It is all right there. He also archives the older Journal entries now, so we now have almost everything that was on the old bring4th site preserved on the llresearch site except the forums. The forums, and the site in general, await the efforts of a volunteer with just the right combination of technical expertise and the ability to work with me, a dinosaur who lacks any real expertise with computers and is sometimes very difficult to communicate with if one is technically oriented. It will be a special fit, for sure! I am glad to wait for it.

I did some research for Monica L on where the forums went after our site closed. Bruce has the forums on the site which were the remnant of the first blow-up of the B4 site, when it was hacked down. Jeremy saved a forum from the second B4 site when it was taken down. I am not sure whether that second site is still functioning, but you can e-mail Jeremy and find out. His e-mail is

L/L Research will eventually offer discussion forums again. I think it is a good service for people just do not know when it will happen. It is really important to me to make all that we do at L/L Research a labor of love and devotion to the Creator. So it may take some time to create that feature again. Whenever it is, it will be the right time.

I sent to Jan E, my nurse-practitioner at the Hubbard Clinic, my abstracted chart on eating right for Interstitial Cystitis. The diet information came to me in a convoluted, science-speak pamphlet and I reduced the useful data to one easy sheet of charted rules. She thought that was helpful and had me send her the digital version so she can print it out and hand it to her patients.

I took some sweet time and wrote to my confederates in the MacDuffie reunion, Beth, Anne, Ann and Helen. I had written twice, once to the group actually at the reunion and once to the whole class – I am class captain for the class of 1961 – but had not responded to their individual notes, as this crisis overtook me.

I sent a trouble report to Romi, our ever-helpful technical volunteer, as my computer will not show photo attachments and Gary’s computer refuses to look at PDFs.

I caught up with Tommy, Jim and Carlos, my two brothers and cousin on my dad’s side – the Spanish contingent – on Christmas plans, accepting all three gentlemen’s’ suggestions for when they and their families will arrive for Christmas. December 26th seems to be the starting date for about a week of tribal togetherness. Brother Jim’s birthday is January 1st, and we tend to stick together until we can wish him happy.

I finished the afternoon writing to Ian B about the doings in the British LOO Study Group, to Jay B about politics, to Jean-Claude K to thank him for permission to use his name in an upcoming article for UPI, to John P about the process of after-death and the soul stream, and to Larry M about his recent trip to Korea for the Mongolian Peace Initiative meeting, which he had attended for the past week or so.

Mick came in covered with leaf dust, the conditions being just right for leaves to burst into powder when crunched. He says that this is his last full mowing day! The season is winding down and he is beginning to put his customers’ lawns and gardens to bed for the winter. Soon, in about three weeks, that process will be all finished and his customers will only be calling on him for odd jobs. The off season looms! We both look forward to that. He was quite pleased as his equipment worked so well. He did need to change all his filters, as the leaf dust was everywhere.

The evening passed most pleasantly and quietly. We had supper, offered the Gaia Meditation, with me praying at the end, and snuggled with the cats until bed time at 11 PM.