2008-07-05

It was a lovely day, sunny and mild for Kentucky – mid-80s F. Jim spent a part of it working in the yard, planting caladium and coral bells and reworking the driveway end of the low stone wall that embraces our planting bed along the gravel strip of parking by the road. When the sewer people trenched their pipe in to hook up with our house’s plumbing, Jim dismantled that end in order to avoid problems. They left the area in good shape, seeding it and laying straw over it. Now Mick has the little wall all replaced and better than ever – he took pity on me and started the wall further from the driveway, leaving me more room to back out.

After Morning Offering I pecked away at the e-mail all day, mixing that pleasant activity with reworking recipes and taking a couple of inadvertent naps. I’ve been sleepy all day for some reason! But I did thirteen letters. A couple more days like this one and I will again be current with my mail.

I spent most of the afternoon on one e-mail, since it is central to the issue of whether or not to continue to plan a gathering in Williamsburg. I consulted with Gary twice and St. James once, trying to find my heart of heart’s desire on this one. We’ll see. What I found out for sure is that I have come to be a person who requires payment for her traveling and teaching. I did not used to do that. I have gone many places just to serve, with no thought of remuneration, for four decades.

What has changed me is the recent addition of an admin and a bookkeeper to take the load of daily duties off of my shoulders so that I can do creative and editing work. I love having them do that! I really love having time to write on new projects and to get old projects finished. These last two years have been wonderful! And they have been productive as well. I have written a book, finished the editing on two older books and penned a year and a half’s worth of articles on various topics.

It takes funds to pay Gary's and Pam's fees. So now, when I think of traveling somewhere to speak, I am also thinking about receiving an income stream to reward my effort. I was brought quite low by this quelling realization. I told Mick, “I have become one of THEM!” I am a philistine! A round of whited sepulchers for me and my greed, bartender!

We live and learn! Never did I think to leave the high road of total service to others – until I started having to pay bills! That changed everything. So be it.

I offered the closing prayer at the Gaia Meditation tonight.